Discussion Boards - The Big Issues

........most of us; dont attack one another Michelle.
Well maybe some of us do challenge others, and thats ok.
Depending on how we do it.......................
Those of us who are upfront at least have the ability to do it openly.:)

...its only a select few on bad days..so dont worry, if any one should start to be unkind.God sorts it out; one way or another. He is a very personal and amazing God. While He corrects one, He comforts another...simultaneously. Michelle could u send me a contact email addy, like to write u.

To add to this discussion... I have been separated for 12 years and there is no emotional or any other tie or chance of reconciling. I would date now with complete clarity of mind and this is after much prayer and soul searching.
Of course that legal piece of paper is necessary in order to remarry but to all intents and purposes I AM divorced.
I think we need to leave this scenario to the individual and their relationship with God who knows the heart and all the circumstances. We can have our opinion but should not insist that one size fits all. More discernment, more empathy and less black and white judgement is needed from all of us.
We must find our own pathway with this one.

Wow. I am going to be completely honest, when I read the first post my thought was "yep, that is so true" ... Why did I say that? Because I could see myself in there while I was separated. And I'm sorry, but it's true. And we are ALL human beings and ALL have that same adamic nature in us. Everyone going through a separation is going through their own personal atonement. Let's face it and truly be honest, if you are still married and going through a separation, unhappy? Yes, you've just been ripped apart from the one person you made the decision to become "one flesh" with. Dishonest? To oneself maybe, Yes. Confused? About what went wrong, self examination, self determination, and that would be a definite Yes. As for using people, hm, I'm not too sure about that one lol. Get real people, you all know it's true, for we all are the same. We all have that same nature within us, regardless of cultural differences and a variety of upbringing.

However, there is nothing wrong with coming onto a site like this if one is "separated" and looking for friendship, if anything it is probably the best thing to find friendships and like minded people who have gone through the same suffering's of a separation as they do know you best. They know the struggles, the hardships, the confusion and everything else that goes on within your own wall of emotions. The original post doesn't say anything against joining this site while married looking for friendships, it specifically speaks of dating while married.

Personally my thoughts: Marriage is a covenant made before God, and to date somebody else while one is still married ... You are not honouring your spouse and is certainly not honouring God.

Peace to all :-)

Thanks for your words Pauline. We sure all have that same basic nature, but re separation, we can be in very different places.
Unhappy? No.
Ripped off? No.
Dishonest? No. Not now.
Confused? No longer. Never felt clearer.
Guess we don't all feel the same after all.
Time works wonders.

Michelle, I am sorry that you have made that decision...
Really its good when we stop blaming others for their responses..
And start to look at the way we are communicating.

Theres a lot of hurt people on this site,
So the way we communicate to each other is important,

And nooo its not weird...for me to ask for addys from women :))
Maybe for you it is.
I have made some very beautiful gf from the site.
I am not just here to find male friends or a husband,

I often converse with women from this site (wow)
But because youve blanked out, and are not communicable through mailbox on the site.( i did try)
Other then to put out your own views.....and mostly very forcefully..

I thought you may be open to correspondence.
An friendship.
But..............

Hi Hetha :-)

Sorry, I was talking about within 12 months of the separation, for some possibly even 24 months? Of course everyone heals and it depends on the person, but healing will eventually come :-)

Sorry Pauline. I should have understood that you may have meant that.
I guess the time span for healing is as varied as the individual.
It is so sad that some carry scars for the rest of their lives.

That's ok Hetha. I was separated for 2 years but it still took me 1 year to be able to say I was healed. I have one friend who still talks about how her marriage ended and that marriage ended well over 10 years ago :-(

So yes, some people never really heal at all... so sad.

....It is really sad that some people do not recover from divorce, and other traumas.But I guess the options are; always playing the victim, and some people are genuine victims of terrible crimes, but God can even use those situations to bring good from them and help others, or I guess another option is going through life blaming other people for the misery of your own life. Personally, Id rather take the less painful option of working through issues, and trying to make changes for the better.