How do you "know"?
Hi Kylie
I just read your profile and I can't understand how come the bells haven't been ringing for you already, just keep that great smile out there and unless all the young men are blind and stupid you will find your love very soon. That is not a prophesy, however if I was a betting man (and I am not) you would be a sure thing that I do feel strongly. Keep your eyes on God and you will join the love sick very soon. All the best.
P.S. Remember love isn't what you like about a person as much as how much you can overlook and except, they don't make perfect people but for you and me.
Hi Kylie. God knows who He has planned for you. As far as knowing if a person is right for you I think you just know it in your heart; the sense that it is just so right. Also just to put it in perspective without sounding like the prophet of doom, even the madly in love have their ups and downs. At the end of the day 'love' is the commitment that remains in the midst of the relational storms. Despite being in my 40's I am still waiting for my 'prince'. If my mortal fairytale has no happy ending, my eternal one will in heaven with the ultimate Prince. In the meantime, pray for your intended one; lift him up continually before God wherever or whoever he may be - in this way he will be richly blessed.
Sonia.
Sonia, I love what you said about love being the commotment that remains in the midst of the relational storms. One of my favourite quotes is 'nothing is more beautiful than love that has weathered the storms of life'. I have this on a card with a rather appropriate picture which would be too hard to describe.
The thing that I always find awkward is praying for someone who may not exist. It feels a bit weird praying for the man you'll marry when you don't even know if it's in God's plan for you to mary.....
Sonia
I believe affection "grows" as you get to know one another better, or not at all - but still be the best of friends. I have also seen "best friends" realising that they actually love the other person. And do not judge a book by its cover either - there are many a jewel hidden inside and old shabby face and body.
But God has a plan for our lives - make friends and enjoy what is on offer.
Keep well
Ruth, anyone who says, "And do not judge a book by its cover either - there are many a jewel hidden inside an old shabby face and body " certainly deserves to find the sparkle and joy of true and everlasting love again. Good luck to you and God bless.
Hi Kylie
Having been married for 30 years to my beautiful wife who I lost from cancer 15 months ago and being a GP who has seen so many marriages fail and others flourish, I don't have the answer but I would say that the true test of a marriage is not those early months and years when the body is strong and attractive and passion is strong but the capacity to learn to tolerate the others imperfections (both in body & mind) and not to project your own faults onto the other (i.e making out that they are somehow the cause of your issues).
Also communication and how you deal with times of sickness and stress. It is only then that you truly know the other person - but it can also be the best time of all because you reach a point where you truly enjoy just being with your partner. It is never all a bed of roses and it seems too easy nowadays to bail out at the first sign of rough weather. But it takes time to reach a point where you feel totally OK with each other and then you know it will last till death.
So you just don't know in those early days, the ones who say "if its the real deal you just know" - they don't know. Trust in God, if you are a good person and have Christian faith then trust that the right person will come into your life.
My wife once wrote me the words of George Elliot, I have never forgotten them
"Oh the comfrot, the inexpressable comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pour them all out just as they are chaff and grain together, and a loving hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away"
Good luck on your jounrey and God bless, Doug
Sorry for the typo, it was meant to be 'comfort', I am usually so careful to read before posting but that one slipped through !
Hi Kylie, One thing I have learned is that you have to love that person for who they are right now and not for who you think you can make them be. Because in the end you end up with someone who you can't change and find that the thing you wanted changed becomes even more of a thorn in your side and that will fester over time. I thank God that he over looks our weaknesses and Loves us even more because of them.
Someone once said, which i thought was very apt, that you can't love someone until you can love yourself, that is to accept yourself.
Perhaps in accepting yourself, you can accept others more fully too - and this is the state of mind that then allows one to fully love another........
And to Janis' comment, I couldn't agree more, nothing turns me off a person more than someone who wants to improve you. Accepted by another, each person has all the tools they need to improve themselves.
Matt, I love sinners but not their sins. So I can love another person sincerely and also want him to improve. Yet, I would pray for him rather than choose to have a romantic relationship with him if I felt that he really needed to change.
This is a hard question. My take on it is this:
Firstly make sure there are not obstacles in YOUR relationship with God that hinders your prayer.
Secondly know what GOD has said about marriage, relationships and the relevant matters that you are not sure about in the person in question.
Lastly ask God’s spirit to guide you to rightly apply that knowledge to ASSESS the relationship and to give you clarity.
Also talk to family, friends and colleagues of that person to gauge a 360degree view.
God expects you to apply due diligence where you can, and leave the rest to Him. All the best.
wow! hello everyone, l have really been blessed to have read your thoughts on this matter, you all have beautiful hearts.
l have been single for 7 years, l used to say when people would ask me how l was being all on my own, and l used to say that l am happy to be on my own, well guess what? l learned that if that is what l spoke out then that is what l got. The Lord was listening and hence gave me what l asked for. You know the truth is that l don't want to be on my own, so l started to speak to the Lord about bringing my "knight in shining amour on his trusty stead" (lol) into my life, and being honest when asked if l was happy on my own, and especially being honest with myself and the Lord-who already knew. l still haven't meet my "knight" but now l am o.k with that cause l trust the Lord with all my heart and soul.
l think Doug's thoughts sum it up beautifully as l have heard very similar reply's from other married couples.
Their have been men that have come into my life that once upon a time l would have considered dating, by now - l know my worth where as before l never did. The Lord won't present me with any ol joe blow, he will present me with the best, as a father does to his daughter. May the Lord God bless you all abundantly. Sandy.
Have you ever met one of those blissfully happy recently married couples, you know the one's that make you want to be sick in your mouth? Sorry too much detail lol. It seems I am surrounded by these kinds at the moment. I have had many discussions recently with said couple about how they knew the other was right for them. The most common answer I have heard is "if it is the real deal you just know". Now far be it from me to question these sickening couples but a little bit more information would be appreciated.
Perhaps God writes their future partners name in the sky or they are told in a prophetic way that this person is the one for them? Or maybe is it more about finding someone that you can tolerate whose feet do not smell too badly and asking God to bless it? Or is it somewhere in between all of these possibilities? Perhaps I am asking an obvious question but would love to hear some insights.....
Much love and peace
Kylie