Discussion Boards - Agony without the Aunt

Dear Kandia, again I find myself totally agreeing with you, it is so good to have someone such as you speak these words out as a woman and really clarify it for other women. Sometimes I see too many Christian women make very mediocre decisions in this area. The compromise with the children and every other decision in life is just too hard. It's hard enough when your Christians. so keep up the good work, continue to be theologically tight not loose, continue to speak out God's word and continue to praise the Father through the Son in the power of the Holy Spirit and I'm sure that God will bring into your life a most wonderful man. your heart is for the Lord and I hope and pray He blesses you richly...yours in his service, Jim

Chiefly I even wonder how useful it is to use the terms "christian " and "non christian".
I can only speak from my own experience. To be on a similar spiritual path as my partner is important , as is to live by similar spiritual principles eg. honesty.
But in the final analysis who knows who are the "christians" and who are the "non-christians".? That is not for us to decide. Each human reflects God's character , though of course not perfectly. Each of us broken to a greater or lesser extent.
Only on that final day will the outcome be revealed.
And there will probably be a few surprises.!

the answer for me, is simple FRUIT SALAD !! I expect to see the various fruits of the spirit active in someone's life, my last bitter experience with someone who made Christian noises and initially came to church with me only in the end to turn out to be a complete and utter horror story has made me completely utterly and entirely against ever dating someone that I have been instrumental in their conversion.

They Must be at the point of meeting a vibrant, active, spirit filled, evangelistic, God-fearing, Bible reading Christian. they must clearly state it up front and out loud to all and sundry, Jesus Christ is Lord, he is the only means of salvation. Not some generally rubbish fluffy duck gospel where good people might go to heaven. They have to actually be afraid of hell, they must recognise that if other people do not have the gospel then that is there final fate. Hence they must speak it out and their lives must show that they live it out.

To many, for too long have just drifted along and really don't take it seriously. the last thing I wanted do, and yet I ended up doing it was to hobble myself and my Christian ministry. I certainly don't want (another) dead albatross around my neck, someone that I have to carry ALL the time, I do not want someone who detracts from my ministry but adds to it, I do not want someone who soaks up my time, but frees up my time.

clearly, in any relationship there is give and there is take, it needs to be balanced, obviously if your partner goes for a crisis you will stand beside them as a rocksolid partner. if however the relationship deteriorates to the point where you give, and they take then the whole thing is out of balance and no one in the end will win. In the end the person who is doing the taking gets riddled with guilt.

so my answer, I wish to see fruit salad and lots of it.

Differences between couples can be a source of friction - christians and non christians can have very different views on some issues - this can be a source of friction (and therefore, unhappiness), and/or could result in an ungodly compromise by the christian (and therefore, displeasing to God).......

Dear Julian, you are so right, you end up like a slowly boiled frog, that's what happened to me. (You can put a frog in beautiful tepid water and it feels comfortable, slowly, very slowly if you heat the water up it will sit there. The water will actually boil and the frog will still sit there, scientists have actually done, it's a bit cruel and I don't condone the practice but you get the point I'm making.) I don't want to end up a slowly boiled frog, dragged away from the Gospel by godless woman minute by minute which turns into degree by degree until you're facing 180° in the wrong direction.

been there, done that, the blue-eyed Locust did enough damage to me for a lifetime, never again.

dont do it, broken heart is what you will get in return. The bible says to guard your heart and this was the first thing the Lord said to me when I was getting involved with an unbeliever, BREAK UP thats all he was saying break up because I am watching out for you..unfortunately I chose to get married to her, she committed adultery i got angry moved out couldn't deal with it and we got divorced..most importantly is my daughter is affected by it..I love her and she is loved and a wonderful girl..but she is the one caught between...Now the only way I can see good influence is when I find a woman suitable for her as well as myself..

I don't care if I meet the most beautiful girl inside and out, if we cannot share the love of our Lord with each other it would definately be a relationship shaker/problem down the track, I think it wise to have a partner of the same faith. I think it prudent not to get attached to a non believer this will save heartache rising tomorrow. That's it Josiah, guard your heart!

It is not our fight for their faith therefore we can not fight to be in a relationship with an unbeliever, many of the posts I have seen on here show that pain has been the outcome of these relationships..As LYDIA shared:

"Hearts are fragile, and I know first hand how hard it is to give up someone who is so compatible to you in every aspect, except sharing the same faith. I know God has stored my tears in a jar, and I believe He will see me through life. The greatest distance between two persons is when both of you are next to each other but yet lacking a close, intimate shared life with God."

This is the pain of many, don't be fooled by good looks, great personalities, or even little commitment to church..These things don't make a man. The Love of God makes a man a man, the same goes for women. For if we don't have love that is greater than that of the world we can not call ourselves children of God. Without God jealousy,arrogance, unforgiveness and sin will inevitably destroy the relationship.

great to have you here Jason..You have many friends here..Don't be a stranger..Hope theres a church close by to where you live..?